Your OCD thoughts don’t make you bad

Why do we feel so guilty when our thoughts stray from what we normally fix them on or how we normally respond to situations? I know that having OCD made me very aware of my thoughts and, of course, made my thoughts play on repeat. They were intrusive, loud, and so out of character for me. Images and thoughts would pop into my head that I had no framework for, or if there was, it was something I already found troubling or something I didn’t ever want to really think about. 

What I came to discover as I was healing from OCD and the toll it had taken was that everyone deals with random thoughts. The person with OCD fixates on them, they play on a loop and then attach a label on themselves. (ie. I’m a bad person for thinking that). My journey is not unlike others who have suffered, as I unravelled and gradually got the much-needed help.

So what happens when you don’t have OCD? Now that I’ve been stable and have my OCD well-managed, I can see that it is quite normal to have these random thoughts. A person without OCD generally has the thought, maybe even laughs about it, and it passes through their brain. They go about their day and don’t waste any more time thinking about it. 

My brain still has a little more processing time than others, but thankfully, things don’t stay stuck right now. I examine it more than someone without OCD, but it passes. I almost visualize it like a river stream, and I watch the thought float down. I look at it passing by, wonder what it is and why and then watch it float by and then out of sight. 

So, for the person who has OCD or maybe struggles with intrusive or obsessive thoughts, you are not alone. The thoughts aren’t a reflection of who you are as a person. Perhaps you’re angry at someone and don’t know why. You know they haven’t done anything wrong, but somehow you find yourself directing your frustration at them. You aren’t bad for having the thoughts that may try to play alongside the anger. When you love that person, but are taking things out on them. Don’t let the thoughts trip you up. More than likely, they have had some thoughts, too, about you! 

If your struggle extends beyond what you can manage, please don’t wait. Seek help and reach out to someone you can trust. If you just moved to a new city or you are alone, make the appointment. Call the therapist or see the doctor. Healing is possible, and hope is worth fighting for.